Family Tree

28 Aug

Here, I list the essentials of my character.

GRANDMA – Miss Corporate Biz

On my grandmother’s side was a strong streak of business sense running through my blood. It was said that my grandmother left the arts industry because she didn’t want to sleep her way to the top. She ultimately ran her own corporation.

My grandma understood the value of men and money too. Legend has it that when she was in her prime, 3 men were all engaged to her, and they were all going on business trips. They all left my grandmother their cars while on vacation. She had to park each car in the back of her house, so none of the men would have any knowledge of each other.

Ultimately she married none of these men – She Married my Grandpa.

GRANDPA – Mr. Humble Mechanic

My grandfather won my grandma’s heart because he was a man of little means but on one of their first dates, gave her every penny he had for the jukebox. They were married within 3 months of meeting each other.

I’ve had friends tell me they can’t imagine how I am not running my own corporation or am the CEO of a big company. I know I get that biz sense from my grandma.

DAD – WOMEN LOVING DOCTOR

I’m guessing the slutty side of the family came my father, who (by his lonesome) fathered 8 children by two different women, and probably had illegitimate children elsewhere.

In his old photo collection, there is a plethora of sexy secretaries that he clearly had during his prime reproductive years, all quite gleeful to be by my father’s side, who I am sure was very charming in his day!

FRANK – PARTY ANIMAL ELDEST SON & LIBERAL HALF BRO

My father’s eldest son is my half brother Frank, who is like a weird uncle/brother to me and is one of the most sexual people I know. He’s smokes weed & drinks every day – he knows how to party. When we go out, sometimes for kicks we make like I am his very young girlfriend…and sometimes we make like he is my father. Our favorite is when we pull both moves in one sitting, leaving onlookers disgusted. We joke with the line, “Incest is best!”

MOM = BUSINESS+PLEASURE EXTRAORDINAIRE

The genetic predisposition to mix business with pleasure I get from my mother. All those pretty secretaries my dad had? My dad married the prettiest one, my mom!

Sifting through old letters and cards they exchanged, it can be found that they had a strong sexual attraction for each other. My mom is no dumb bunny (tho she may act it at times). She is blonde and bubbly. I get the lighter social side from her, but my hair is very dark and my eyes came out green, much like my father.

ME= OBLIVIOUS BRAINY GEEK-TURNED-BABE

Also like my father, I have a lot going on in my head. To the point that I’d be oblivious that any guy was interested in me, or that I was the type of gal that guys would lust after.
I am still more concerned with interesting conversation.

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