BrothelBabe tackles Phobias!!!

13 Sep

I came back from my vacation realizing the phobia I thought I had is a legitimate phobia.

Last time I had to get my blood drawn, the same lady (who I am convinced) is not very good at taking blood. I walk inside the doctor to see her face and a little voice inside screams, “oh god, no” because I KNOW seeing her means I’m going to get poked more than once.

I walk in with a student nurse who says she might be taking my blood. Part of me says, “oh, even better, a student!” then the other part of me says, “I bet the student is better than the other lady…whew.”

I tell them before anyone sticks a needle in,
“My friends mom is a nurse and she said to use a blood pressure cuff on me because my veins are bad.”

Do they listen?

No.

In goes the needle. No luck. I’m ok.
I suggest, “maybe a smaller needle, I have small veins. How about that blood pressure cuff?”

The nurse decides she’s going to use a butterfly needle. If you’ve never seen a butterfly needle, the needle is detached and its this separate needle that goes into your arm, and the syringe is further down the way.

I’m tense when they stick the needle in….I watch the needle go in,
but then I stare at the LOOOOOOOOOONG tube that is attached to the needle. A slow journey down that tiny tube.

When my eyes finally lock onto the syringe, the nurse says,
“ok, pull.”

At that moment she might as well have been pulling all the blood away from my face since that is exactly what I felt happen.

Had I been standing, I would have fainted. I was already sitting down.
They must have seen my face go pale because they both went,

“Uh oh, lets get her lying down, here’s a pillow….”

I can’t stand the thought of another failed blood draw.

You may be wondering, “How can you be needle phobic if you inject yourself with weird diets?”

Funny you ask.
I can handle needles going into muscle, into fat….just fine.
I just don’t like needles going into my veins. Specifically, giving blood.
I’ve been trying to ease myself over my phobia.
Used to I would always look away for the whole process.
Over the last year I’ve been able to watch the needle in my arm.
On occasion, I can watch the needle going in.
But you haven’t seen SHIT until you’ve seen a butterfly needle in your arm.

The nurse tried to call somebody next door to get them to draw my blood.

NO ONE WAS AVAILABLE.

She comes back into the room to see me standing next to (and holding) one of the blood pressure cuffs.

“How about we give this a try?” I say. As nice and curious as possible.

What I meant was, “howsabout you finally fucking listen to me, before I fall over and die.”

That blood pressure cuff was pumped up so tight…..I’m thinking this is worse than missing a 3rd time. But the 3rd time is a charm. Watch that blood rush into the tube. I am going to be ok.

She says, “I’m going to put it in your chart to use a blood pressure cuff so they will do that every time.”

DAMN RIGHT.

Afterwards, I realize the low blood sugar plus wanting to pass out combo is a double whammy.
I inhale some jack in the box. Those churros never tasted so good.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: