Compare & Contrast – Ho’s vs. Prisoners

24 Sep

One of my girlfriends said to me earlier today,
“Wanna help me break out? I have a spoon.
I’m digging a hole by the fence out back. It should be big enough for both of us to crawl through in a couple years. Are you in?”

That was Ivy who said that. She has been here for probably two months straight with only two days off. While I commend her ability to stick with this whole “working your ass off” thing – I would go insane without going home every two weeks.

I’m about at that two week breaking point.
The things that we do when we start to lose our minds a little, has to be similar to prisoners.

The thing I want most, just like any other jailbird would want?
A god-damn pen pal.
I like having pen pals.
I now understand why people stuck in our prisons post ads on craigslist asking for people to write them. Those letters you get break up the monotony of the day and the world.

The longer I get here, the more the nature of communication with the outside world changes.

I used to loathe drunk text messages.
Now I appreciate them – they remind me of whats still out there.
I just got three text messages and one voice mail in the last hour, and all I can think is “thank goodness for my weird collection of friends spread across the country!”

You learn to rely on the cumulative efforts of many people,
rather than being somebody’s one and only.

What is a girl to do?

I talk to mexicans all day long.
When I’m not talking to mexicans, I’m talking to women who are threatening me with their bisexuality. Desperate for companionship, I begin to understand why prisoners “go gay.”

We’re not so different.
If you think you understand loneliness…
I will tell you: You have no idea.

To ward off the quiet, a lot of girls buy pets. .
Bree has a new pet kitty. I called her “Sprite” and the name stuck. To entertain herself….Bree blows bubbles at Sprite and watches while Sprite tries to catch the bubbles. Bree enjoys watching her cat play with bubbles a little too much. Sprite is interesting. She will jump on your shoulder and perch there like a parrot. Pretty good for a 10 week old kitten.

Asia has a pet chihuahua named Max.
Max is a charismatic fellow and he’s only a year old, but Asia says he favors blondes and white girls. He also favors humping any and all of his stuffed toys. The little lipstick comes out to play, he humps like a mad man, finishes practicing, then makes like nothing happened. All the girls coo and watch when he humps like they are proudly waiting for the day he humps a girl Chihuahua. Doggie porn, yea! GO MAX.

She said Max was angry I did not say hello to him upon his return.

I carried him around for a good 20 minutes today like a little baby while we were giving tours of the house. He’s a cutie pie.

Karley has her giant Maine Coon named Louie. I enjoy Louie myself. He is a very sweet giant cat. Reminds me of my cat back home. Louie likes to roam about the halls. It was a good nite a couple weeks ago when Louie slept beside me in the jacuzzi room while I took a nap. He soothed me in my moment of missing home.
She now has to begin all of her party tours with “Are you allergic to cats?” Today a woman said “Yes” and they Karley looked at me with the “What do I DO?!?” face. I said, “Go to Asia’s room?”

Crisis averted.

I can’t afford a pet here though.
Pets aren’t very intellectual.
I just like having pen pals.

Maybe I’ll suck it up and write a fellow inmate.
God help me.


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