How to drop the L-Bomb: A partier’s guide

25 Oct

We use the L Word (L-O-V-E) in my industry more frequently than most. You have to be able to give and receive love in this business in order to survive. We’re able to use the L Word without fucking with someone’s head. In real life, this isn’t always the case. Guys have a tendency to drop the L-Bomb in the wrong way, at the wrong time.

Here’s how to do it right if you know how to party. Proper emphasis and word order included.

How to drop the L-Bomb, Proper:
Step up to the plate when you’re both fully clothed, you’re both sober, and surprise that ho: A straight “I love you.” will do.

How to Drop the L-Bomb While Drunk at a Bar or Party:
An “I fucking love you.” while drunk is a nice warmup, for those of you who need “training wheels” when dropping the L word.
You can also tell a 3rd person in front of her, “I fucking LOVE this girl.”

How to Drop The L-Bomb in The Bedroom:
The only time the L word should be used in the bedroom initially is when you say emphatically in the heat of the moment, “I LOVE fucking you.” , “I LOVE having sex with you”, “I LOVE when you suck my dick like that” , and “I LOVE X position.”

Never say I love you (to her face!) for the first time in the bedroom. You may think its romantic to look in her eyes and whisper it while you’re naked during your post-coital “intimate moment”, but any smart girl knows its a cheap card a guy can pull so he can keep getting laid. Such bullshit reminds her of being on the job.

There’s ways of letting her know you feel good while avoiding the L-word: Just say, “That feels good.” Duh.

But don’t USE THE FUCKING L-WORD unless its a drunk all-out sweaty sex party, and wildly proclaim, “I LOVE FUCKING YOU!” This is the ONLY time its appropriate. Can’t stress this enough.

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