Precious days where no one knows your secret….

14 Nov


Imagine being out of town at a glorious, wonderful art show.
Imagine a couple close friends are around.
Imagine being appreciated for your art and for some kind of magic and wonder that you create…
But only two people know you’re a whore.
The rest, merely come to adore your art.

That was an evening I had this weekend.
People from all over….a certain newness in the space because of all the lovely artwork in the building.
A couple of fans of my work showing up.
Fans who are distantly interested in my work,
but not overly interested in my work.
A healthy balance of how a proper appreciator of the arts should be.

There is no greater peace than knowing your secret is safe among good friends.
I think the great thing about the evening was that….you start to see real life still has its secrets.
I’m still curious about the most basic of things.
Life has more to offer than orgasms.
Not all jokes have to be about sex.
Women can be in full clothing…
not be exposed, and be more gorgeous because they have more to offer intellectually than the girl who wears next to nothing.
Men can be wholesome.
Not all men are slutty.
Not all men think about ONLY SEX all the time.
Some men think alot about other things.
Like art,
and music.
Sometimes that passion is more sexy than sex in and of itself.

While the rest of 20something couples might be thinking about getting scandalous while no one is watching…
I’ve seen so much scandal in the last two years that I find that secretly holding hands or a stolen kiss can be much more daring.
Above all, the MOST COMPLICATED QUESTION I GET ASKED IS,
“What do you do for a living?”

It is by far the most difficult question to be asked.
A question I never know how to answer.
Do I write?
Do I fuck people for money?
Do I do art?
What do I do?

I draw this pathetic, huge blank.
An “UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH….” followed by a long silence.
Seriously, how would YOU answer if you were me?

I told one gent I am “writing a book about sex.”
He handed me his business card.
Interestingly enough, he works for one of the corporate giant Television Networks. Says he’d love to cover the book when its out.
Go figure.

Tonight I’ll sum it up this way:
Whoring tends to make you feel like you know A LOT.
Sometimes it makes you feel borderline superhero-status,
as if you ALMOST know everything there is to know about sex, men relationships, love.

Now, more than ever, I appreciate that there are still things about the opposite sex I don’t know.
That men can still have an air of mystery.

I’m almost GLAD….HAPPY…RELIEVED….about the fact..that I still don’t know everything there is to know about men,

and I probably never will.
I prefer it that way.

It teaches me to be patient, and gives me something to look forward to.

Life definitely has more to offer than immediate satisfaction.

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