The Day Before I started Hooking – I found my journal entry.

18 Nov

HAHAHAHA I find this to be hilarious. I was so naive!
Keep in mind all of you,
that my old car was on its last leg and was in need of $1500.00 + in repairs….
I needed a new car anyway (or so I thought)
I had just had a death in my family,
and had given every option at home all I could give.
Keep in mind I have met some of the elite.
Like people who know Michael Jackson’s mom.
And I have been the “top girl.”

Except….flying to distant places…
doesn’t really happen unless you work for the Bunny Ranch…which I don’t.


JULY 11, 2009

Sooo. I got a new car. Woohoo. I feel slightly crazy for doing so. But. Gonna go to Reno tomorrow.

I hate it. When you have a feeling, and when people put it all OUT THERE, making them easy to read n’ shit. But you can’t say anything….you have to wait.

And I hate that no matter how fast you WANT something to happen, you cant….MAKE it happen.

Like, I have been “making” things happen for a long time. Not LETTING things happen. And it sounds weird, but from some kinda metaphysical energy sense, when I feel like I have to force people or use all of my energy to move them because I don’t have faith….it’s so hard!

Like you start to wonder – would people create an organized shelf…in their mind….where you can EXIST?

Do you need one, or do you dance around it?

I dunno. I feel really GOOD about Reno…Like maybe they would send me to be part of their….GIRL ELITE. That by some stretch of the imagination I could tell them I was doing it for my art and they would PROMOTE ME to the level that I wouldn’t have to have sex with guys all the time. I could be their top girl! They would want to MAKE me their top girl. In Vegas….Reno….because I’m sure there are men who hire an EXPERIENCE…..not a…hooker.

Or maybe I could get an in with a “real gent”…
Or a real celebrity.
That wants to pay me…
to be on his arm….
for like…
a WHILE.

Maybe they could turn me into some kind of…escort star.
They could fly me to distant places.
Maybe one day it would be better to use my real name.

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One Response to “The Day Before I started Hooking – I found my journal entry.”

  1. Robbin Young November 20, 2010 at 7:48 am #

    GREAT Blog, thank you for sharing. BTW, I’ve not worked in a brothel but I was a high-class escort for a few months, and I was sooo naive…I used my “real name”…Ugh! 😦 Believe me, be glad you didn’t, because…once a whore, always a whore…and no one will ever let you forget it. You may think you don’t care what other people think or say, but it does hurt and I’ve shed many tears.

    ‘Brothel Babe’, keep writing and perhaps you will realize your dream of being an “escort star” by publishing a best selling book. 😉

    Robbin
    xoxo

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