Psychic Ho!

19 Nov

I had a dream last night.
Everything about it was so real….
from the way I fumbled to find a lighter for the real life candle in my bedroom.
To the glimmer of my walls.
To the way my gentleman friend’s belt buckle jingled when he started to take off his pants.

The dream was very surreal.
I was thinking,
“Oh, I would have figured that the first time we messed around it would have been at your house.
But my house is cool. How convenient.”

Except my gentleman friend was ALL TOO EAGER to take off his pants.
And I said out loud, “NO, no no no.”

All the while, I’m thinking to myself in the dream,
“Hey, we didn’t agree on fucking! We haven’t discussed this! So why the hell are you anxiously shimmying your pants off in my bed, before we have talked about it?
You know sex will complicate things….clearly you’re not thinking right now! And why are you so enthusiastic?”

WITH PERFECT TIMING, as if my gentleman friend can read my mind, he says,
“No no, I just want to show you something. I just wanna show you so you know it’ll be good.”

Shit you not, all my gentleman friend does is….
Lower his pants enough to be appropriate…
Stands up….
Whips his hard dick out…
At which point I sort of…turn my head the other way…
half close my eyes….

And he lets me hold his dick….
in my hand.

My right hand.

Right then and there, I’m sizing it up, like….like Helen Keller copping a feel.
In my dream, it was like I took a mental snapshot of everything about that particular moment, and I had now….CAPTURED….exactly how my gentleman friend’s dick will feel in my hands.

I captured enough to know exactly how good it would feel….in other places.

Its girth was slightly more than I originally anticipated.
The length…not too long…kind of how I prefer it.
But….it was more the…CONFIDENCE.

Cradling his dick in my hand left me gifted with this….all-encompassing sense of KNOWING.

I finally understood, “oh, this is why women love you, this is why you are proud, and THIS, is why you turn women down!”

Clearly, in that moment, it didn’t need to be explained to me that…only a select few are worthy of my gentleman friend’s priceless offering.
Judging by the sheer….perfection….of how it felt in my hands….
Its weightfulness and warmth told me he too has been gifted – not just with a great dick, but with KNOWLEDGE. And INTUITION.

That’s what happens when a psychic ho holds a dick in her hands.
She gets to see its past.

And I knew that my gentleman friend is a rare breed:
born with the kind of dick that will always drive women crazy.


So what do I do, tell my friend?
“Hey I want to see if I had a psychic moment and see if the dick I felt in my dream feels the same as your dick in real life.”

How else would I figure out if I am a psychic ho or not?
Do you think my gentleman friend would submit to such a study?
I mean, how many times in YOUR LIFE have you gotten to scope out the quality of a guy’s dick before you’ve actually seen it?

How do I prove that it was HIS DICK I saw in the dream anyway? Do I make hand gestures and say, “oh, it was about this wide, and it was about this long.”
If I guess right, does that make me psychic?

I feel like I should be embarrassed…..
Instead I just feel like I’ve been gifted with priceless knowledge.


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