When your investors want to fuck you….and LOVE. Fuck you love.

3 Dec

There’s lots of things I have done over the years.
Talking to investors is one of them.
When you’re an artist trying to push your art, nothing is more appealing or promising than the fabled thing known as the “Investor.” They exist, they are real….they can be a big break for your career.

I’m currently in discussion with one now.
Nothing is worse than an investor who wants to fuck you.
Its not for this blog, oh no.
It’s for my art.

It sucks when you’re like “YEAH, ART!”
and then the conversation takes a turn on, “Boo hoo, my ex wife!”
All you can do is smile, nod, make like they are the most attractive man you have ever met,
make like fucking them is a possibility, and hope for the best.

In other news, I’m writing for a website called Ivoyeur.com
I love writing for this site.
The person who is my editor asks some really REALLY amazing questions.
I encourage you to sign up for ivoyeur.com so you can read the articles not only written by yours truly, but the articles written by my idol Nina Hartley as well.


I am waiting to hear back from a certain gentleman’s magazine.
In addition to this, I’ve agreed to write for somebody at the start of the new year – a smaller start up publication.
I think the smaller publication is under the misconception that I will no longer have interest in writing for a smaller publication if a bigger publication takes interest.

To that I have to say….
You’re wrong.
The bigger publications may bring in some dough,
but its the smaller publications that allow for creative freedom that will always hold a special place in my heart.

Oh. P.S.
I’m in love.
I fucking said it.
I hope whoever reads this will broadcast it to the entire fucking planet that I’m in love, and currently its not being reciprocated in the way I want, and it blows beyond belief, and I’m tired of feeling like I fall somewhere between a meaningless snowflake and a doormat.

You know why it blows?
It blows because all I can do is think, “oh its because I’m a fucking ho. Or its suspect that I will always be a ho. It’s because I’m a whore, isn’t it.”

The general paranoia that somebody can never love you back because you are or were at one time a whore, is enough to sink the possibility of a decent relationship. That’s right. Except the person in question doesn’t want a fucking relationship and probably never will, so either way, I’m screwed. I swear to god, Bella in Twilight has it better than I do right now.

I’ve never really been angry about being in love before. But somehow, I am now.
Somebody gave me the memo that normal girls have to spend time in this mythical place called “Wait til he is your BoyfriendLand.”

I’ve never WAITED for a goddamn boyfriend in my entire life.
I always took a man by the hand and owned that shit.
And now I have to WAIT!? WTF.

Really though, fuck love.
I want to pummel you to death.
You ran off without me, love.
You make me make a fool of myself on a regular basis.
I wish you would leave me alone, love.
I wish I didn’t think about you.
I still think about fucking other people outside of the one in question,
but that doesn’t take away from the fact that I’m still in love with some person I haven’t even fucked.
It’s a fucking crime I have not fucked this man.
It makes me pissed off.
But then again, if I was gonna fall for a whore,
I wouldn’t fuck her at first either.


4 Responses to “When your investors want to fuck you….and LOVE. Fuck you love.”

  1. marko-ireland December 3, 2010 at 2:37 am #

    Once again another great read, much appreciated 😉 x

  2. marko-ireland December 3, 2010 at 2:39 am #

    thank you for another great article, much aprecciated x

  3. Alpin50 December 3, 2010 at 10:17 pm #

    If only you were in love with me !

  4. Phoenix December 23, 2010 at 12:55 am #

    take it from a girl in the same line of work as yourself — it’s possible to find love with someone who knows you for just who you are. That love is very intense, unique and rare. You’ll find it …

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