My New Years Resolution: LIE MORE

2 Jan

Brothel Business is so much like show business.
So we can call it “Ho Business”
Except there is no casting couch and people get paid.

I know secrets and stuff being close to the inside of Hollywood stuff.
Like, once, I met up with my Uncle and he talked to me about how a very famous and gorgeous actor is bi-polar and ran at her husbands with knives because she did combat training in some movie so she knows how to throw those fuckers, and when she doesn’t take her meds, she gets CRAZYYYYY.

What’s that?
That’s Trashy Talk show stuff that the classy public doesn’t need to know.

Locally in my hometown, one of our hometown hereos just died. He was an artist who was very popular when I was too young to remember, but my much older boyfriends turned me on to his work and I loved what he did. He died suddenly…all we hear is “RIP” on facebook walls. Do we know how he died? NOPE.

Its like, right now.
I say I’m in Los Angeles.
I could be anywhere.

Here’s what I have to say though.
I had a conversation with a friend of mine the other day,
and she said,

“I think you chose to do this for your job and if people don’t respect your decision then they are not worth your time.”

Well said, well said.

I think my friends and my family have a huge duality with my life.
I think not even THEY have the mental capacity to be able to verbalize some sort of non-verbal communication I am on the receiving end of.

It’s like they wanna say,
“Babe, I love who you are as a person, and I love the art you make, and I’m glad that you are part of my family, and I’m glad you are my friend, but this whole working in a brothel thing is NOT COOL at all.”

It goes like this:
They’re happy for you one day (Financial Stability)
Then they’re conflicted (on moral grounds)
They are happy for you (Happy you’re happy you’re making money)
Then they’re conflicted (sad that your work causes burnout.)

I’m tired of seeing my family and friends distraught over my job.
SO, my NEW YEARS RESOLUTION is to Lie More!!!
I know that sounds fucked up, but it’s almost like a little voice is saying,
“Please, lie to us, we don’t want to think you are suffering”

They view my job as “suffering.”
Since the job is not suffering, and they can’t possibly understand what a relief it is to have it available as a work option. I have to lie more.

The main reason is, so like Mr. Miyagi says, I can “FOCUS.”

You might wonder what lying more entails:
1. If I really wanna scream at somebody back home because I’m super tired and burnt out, I’ll most likely stay quiet.
2. If I had a long drive and I’m fucking beat and I got a traffic ticket on the 395, I’m gonna say I went and played mini golf that day.
3. If I end up getting a boyfriend any time soon, I most likely won’t even tell my close family…because there’s that whole unsaid thing “if he approves that you’re a whore, he must not be a suitable man for you.” which is bullshit, and I don’t need to deal with that right now.
4. If I DO share with my mom that I have a boyfriend, I will lie to her and say my boyfriend has NO IDEA bout my job, because my mom doesn’t think that whoever I date should know about my job.
6. I most likely won’t even tell my close friends if I end up with a boyfriend. One more aspect of my life for them approve or disapprove of, or give me their opinions over, is something I don’t need at a time in my life when I am trying to remain focused.

Also there is the very important GROUP LIE that will have to be flushed out:
To cleanse my palate if you will…
whoever ends up being my boyfriend…
my creative team…the people I work with…
we will all sit down and concoct an ELABORATE back story,
so if it EVER comes up that I am a “whore” – I will have a fictitious job, complete with my photo on a website and company party photos and business cards……It’s just going to have to be the fact of life if I ever want to have a respectable place for myself in “the Real World.”

There’s a reason why so few women get and STAY in the brothel industry:
It’s a very difficult industry to “keep your sanity in.”

You have have a firmer grasp on things that other people don’t:
1. You have to keep a cool head when there is tension around you that goes on for days.
2. You have to not let it bother you when other women hate your guts
3. You have to resist urge to help the resident pill popper of the bunch who is slurring her speech and is falling asleep at the bar. Even though you’re embarrassed for her, you have to turn a blind eye…and wait til somebody else tells her to go to her room.
4. You have to deal with the fact that your boyfriend is going to be stressed that you’re gone. When you’re fighting over nothing, you have have the sense to hang up the phone.
5. You have to know your limits and know that no matter how much you need a few hundred more dollars, sometimes its time to sleep, take a day off, or go home.

If you don’t have EXTREMELY KEEN SELF AWARENESS in all of these areas, you will crack, and you will break.

I imagine its a lot like the military in that sense? I don’t know.

You might think it takes a crazy person to work there,
but the common thread between all of us is very simple:

We all have something in our lives that is VERY important to us.
It could be art.
It could be plastic surgery
It could be buying gifts for your children or grandchildren
It could be putting yourself through school.

Generally, it’s all something that’s financially unreasonable, but not impossible.
We come here to do the things are POSSIBLE on the outside world, but not like this.

Here, dreams come true faster,
goals get achieved faster,
because you can make the money faster.

People think we’re crazy to work here,
but there’s no other job on the planet where you get this wondrous thing:

1. You can work as hard as you want, 24/7 if you want
2. You can take time OFF if you want and not be penalized
3. With the exception of drug use, its virtually IMPOSSIBLE to get fired.
4. You have a warm place to sleep
5. You have food to eat
6. You can take time off, AS NEEDED, to pursue your other goals/life outside of the brothel.

Do you know what a stress-free situation it is to know you have the power to make rapid change in your life like that?

You might think I’m trying to “sell you” on why I work there.
No no, I just give the facts – facts most people don’t know.

Of course, money has slowed down in the houses.
That’s why I’m currently checking out other venues.

Something needs to change though about how “Normal People” view the adult industry.
It’s helped a lot of women achieve their goals and dreams…and maintain their DIGNITY – because if they failed at achieving their goals and dreams…or taking care of their children. To rob that from them is to steal dignity from the most headstrong women I know.


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