Finish you Finnish

9 Feb

Allow me to say there’s the horror…the bonafide, “What do I do now, this is totally not PC!” moment….after you encounter it for the first time…

It’s not right.
It’s like those pictures you researched on the internet.
It’s staring at you in your full glory.
Get out the hand sanitizer, because you just got near it:

The dirty DC.
(DC meaning, “Dick Check.” )

Guess what boys and girls?
Today was my first.

I’m guessing I’m ruining ALL CHANCES OF GETTING LAID WHEN I GET HOME by typing this, but what-the-fuck-ever, I didn’t fucking touch the guy.

I’m not that stupid.

He was Finnish.
He had an obvious mark of herpes or genital warts.
When I asked him through his accent about his life,
he said he grew up as a Navy Boy in the Finnish Navy,
and was a child of the “Whorehouses of the world.”

Hookers in one country were called “Wives made to order”
while Thai women were often called
“Portable Washing Machines”
he said, because they would always do your laundry.

Back to the blaring wart on his wang:
I was like,
“Uhhmmm yeahhhh I’m going to have to get a second opinion on this because I am concerned with this GIANT FUCKING WART ON YOUR WANG.” (ok I didn’t put it like that. I put it nicer than that.)

So through his Finnish accent he says,
“I won’t touch you, I’ll just wack off.”

NOTE: “Wack off” with a Finnish accent sounds funny.
When a guy brings up something like that…
brings up not touching..
he knows.
He knows he has a fucking STD,
and he came in anyway.

So alls I did was get naked…and whammo…
Watched Mr. Finnish….Finish.

Easy money.

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