I’m losing it, I’m losing it.

12 Feb

I really need to learn to follow my intuition when it comes to situations like these.

My intuition said: Nobody would be here, because it would be fucking valentine’s day weekend.

And….why does it seem like everybody has booked except me?

Maybe it’s because…I don’t wanna fucking be here any more.

I’m itching


to get out…

Because my intuition tells me, not only am I capable of making more money, but perhaps this portion of my life isn’t meant to be an ongoing saga, but rather a sliver of time.

A sliver of time where I got in just before the economy took a huge dump…I made a little bit of cash…and the well has dried up here in Nevada. Girls have moved on to stripping, to hooking on the side…to web camming….all of which compromise their anonymity, their safety, their lives…not sure if that’s a risk I really want to take.

There is this rule you know, the law of the universe.

Say if you want to find a relationship. You want a relationship in your life. What do you do? You clear space in your closet…you make room for that other person.

I’ve been holding on to here. I’ve had all these personal items here at the ranch…

Maybe I need to pack everything up and take it home…just to…make room for something else.

Make room for a new chapter.

In fact I think…if I left and I DIDN’T take my personal belongings this time…I’d go crazy, just the itch of knowing they were there. The itch of knowing I would have to go back one more time to pick everything up.

I don’t need the itch. I don’t need that stuff looming over my head.

I need…progress. I need….change.




One Response to “I’m losing it, I’m losing it.”

  1. Neo_Anderson69 February 12, 2011 at 3:49 pm #

    Join the club ! I also need…progress. I need….change. Don’t worry. Time changes everything. You just have 2 b patient. I no it’s way hard 2 b patient. Been there done that.Karma & or fate will change it 4 u ! Does music get you high. U know the feeling when the hairs on your arm stand straight up. It’s that feeling. Karma is coming your way. Your just out of sync.Artist, MotorMark, song Eat Drink Sleep Think.You can predict your own future. Have u heard of the movie with Nick Cage called next.if you know yourself as I think you do, you can predict your own future more than the 2 minutes Nick could in that movie. Just hold on & enjoy the ride. It can’t be bad forever.

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