I got struck…how fast can somebody change their life?

17 Feb

Within the last few weeks, I’ve gotten struck.
Struck with a bug greater than life itself.
The kind of bug that tells you that you no longer want to be a loser.
You no longer want the life you have currently.
For some reason, something stronger than you have ever encountered starts stirring at your core.

If you didn’t have purpose before, you do now…even if its a general quest to uncover the deeper purpose….it’s much better than previous days of feeling like you’d been wandering aimlessly.
If you thought about misery and the end…you may still have your lowly moments but
now you are confronted with a different way of bein: The power and knowledge in your own abilities that you not only CAN do better…you WILL do better.

It’s not some wavering uncertainty like it was before – it’s a sense of determination to break through those clouds.

Instead of giving as little as you can, you want to give as much as you can.
Instead of taking the short way, you say, “No, I want to do the work, I want to do the step by step process.”

Instead of trying to take shortcuts…you are now at the first step, but you’ve never been prouder.

I suppose that’s where I feel that I am now. If you asked me what bug I got struck with, I honestly wouldn’t be able to tell you.

Maybe it’s love.
Maybe it’s the feeling of missing out on life.
Whatever it is – I know that most people view prostitution as a shortcut. An answer.
In fact, we have a whole society built around shortcuts.
The crash diet.
The radar detector.
Credit cards.
Those get rich quick schemes….

I’m not saying that the process itself needs to be slow. If anything – your own course towards realizing one’s goals and dreams should be a daily routine of micro steps.

What phone calls will I make today?

What emails will I send out?

How many jobs am I going to apply for?

If other people apply for only three a day, I will apply for five.

If people who are doing well in my field have to make 10 phone calls before they book one art show, then I will make 15 phone calls before I am satisfied.

If other people only make those phone calls one or two days a week…then I will make those calls five days a week and multiply my success rate by at least 50 percent.

These are the things you start to think of. The reality that starts to set in, of what all is necessary in order to make it as an artist.

Lets face it- the prostitution industry is just as competitive, and if I was trying to book myself for multiple out dates or trying to work outside the brothels,you can bet your ass thtat I’d be signing up for every mom & pop pimp business,putting on wigs, taking more photos, in an effort to multiply my success rate.

Except in the prosititution business, if Imultiply my odds of exposure, I also increase my risk of going to jail, of a $1200+ court fee….and of losing my life, every single client I visit.

Not a risk I want to take. (DON’T THINK I HAVEN’T THOUGHT ABOUT IT.)

I’m learning to come to terms with every business having a day to day process. AND learning to enjoy that process. I.e. maybe there’s more enjoyment to be had in taking the proper way…a way that involves more sacrifice in the short term, for more gratification in the long term.

That’s what I’m aiming for.

So the trick is I suppose…either I’m not going to be telling people in my real life what’s going on (or else you’ll figure me out) …or…I can’t give you readers all the details of what’s going on.

Real life never liked me that much anyway.
So I’ll tell you what I’m doing.

First off…I’m sending off lots of emails.
And submitting forms.
We’ll see what happens.

That’s all I have for now.


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