Its not so bad, its not so bad.

30 May

I met someone new.
Actually not new.
Known this person since I was not old enough to drink and was sneaking into bars.
I’d never had a conversation with him until maybe two weeks ago.

You might be thinking “WTF Bambi, if you go this long and never talk to a dude, you have no fucking interest in him whatsoever. You’re full of shit.”

Nay nay, I say.
See…when I met him,
I had a crush on this other fellow with the same name.
And unlike most whores, I have this weird thing where I’ll meet somebody with the same name while I’m crushing on dude #1, and I go, “oh no, you have the same name as my crush.” I wrinkle my nose, and I subconsciously avoid that dude #2 plainly because I do not want to be reminded of dude #1.

The only time I’ve ever really had multiple friends of the same name has been when they are all platonic. I know like six guys named Matt. For this reason, I could probably never marry a dude named Matt, because it would get fucking confusing.

SO whatever.
That’s my weird thing.
That old crush however is long gone and somehow this other guy bought me a beer and he’s a hilarious asshole.

If you know me, you know I love assholes.
Not in the sense that they are “mean to you.”
In fact, they are actually nice to you.
I like assholes in the sense of….no filter.
Will say honest shit.
Will speak the truth.
Doesn’t care who the hell they piss off in the process.
95% of the the time, the way they so bluntly phrase the truth? Its hilarious.
It will make you laugh.
It will twist your insides.

THAT is what I love about Assholes.

I’m gonna leave out the details….since there aren’t many.
There’s no weird twisted sub plot, no strange complexities, no….”well he’s amazing but he’s got these weird head issues.”

No weirdness to be had.
It’s simple, it’s fun, its refreshing.

Bambi, signing out.


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