Boffs of the Week

19 Aug

Hey Hey…here they are.

#1. Mr “I wanna be perfect for this girl.” You were barely old enough to drink, and I complimented you on the size of your dick. You asked if you did ok, because you were going on a date with this girl and you thought that the next date might be your night that sex happens. I assured you that you did fine and you have nothing to worry about.

#2. Mr. Before my wife wakes up for breakfast  You were here for Hot August Nights…like you do every year, and you’re married with kids. You’re much older than I am and not my type at all but you’re very gentlemanly and well behave, and I like that. You said that you like to wake up before your wife wakes up. We had fun one day and you rushed off. You said you’d be back on Monday to see me and wouldn’t you know it, there you were at the first Monday morning lineup. This time you wanted to add kissing to the mix, and you were so darn sweet that I said ok. You emptied your wallet for me. What love.

#3 Mr Scientist  I wondered by the vast amount of women if I would get picked in a lineup becasue there were so many other girls. You scanned up and down however and your eyes settled on me. On our way to negotiations I asked you what you did for a living. You said you were a neuropsychologist. So I asked you if you studied brain injuries. We spend the next 15 minutes TOTALLY geeking out about Neuroscience and psychology. I mean nerding out in the finest way possible. Then came the subject of sex. And after all this sex, you decided that what you would really be interested in was talking! We sat with our knees in the hot tub discussing life and future plans and money, and how I got here…and you told me about how there isn’t big money in Neuroscience and that you liked me so much as a friend, you were starting to doubt whether or not we should have sex. However once back in my room, you debated once or twice and then I took the wheel and rocked your world.  I really enjoyed geeking out with you.

Mr. Oh Shit  Hey! I’m always leary of the dark skin dudes for the sole reason that black men have huge dicks, and I cannot physically accomodate giant penises. However, you seemed cool, you seemed kick back. We discussed prices, you went out to the bar and thought about it, and then you said ok. I have to admit, the sex was good. Your dick was like…the perfect size, and it didn’t hurt, and I was like “fuck yeah, I’m having Cheerios for breakfast.” The cool thing was how many times you would say, “Oh shit!” “Oh Shit!” in the throws of ecstacy. I really enjoyed your sexy profanity.

Mr. “You remind me of an ex.” I slept with this metal drummer once and he had this cocky attitude and would blatantly be open and unusually candid about sex. The cockiness factor I think was due to a few too many lines of cocaine…but he seemed to stop at the point where it made him cool, not agro.  So this guy comes in. He huddles around a table of girls. I whip out my cel phone one of the girls HITS me like “oh hey  Bambi this guy is staring at you, get the fuck over there.” So I talked to him.

He left for a little bit to check out a place across the way. He said he would be back.

Two minutes later he’s back. He’s standing at the bar and I’m a few feet away…and another girl does the nod, indicating that I should go in to make my move.

He reminds me of an ex. Same blue eyes…similar facial structure, similar smile…he smoked cigarettes also so the gravel in his voice was all eerily similar, as was his accent as they were both from the midwest.  Like my metal drumer Ex, Mr. Reminder man was super candid:

You are by far the the hottest girl here. “ he says.

As I walk, he says confidently, “you have a sweet ass.”

It’s like I’m transported back in time a couple years to my 18 year old illegal ID rendezvous with said drummer.

Once we get into the room, I have a feeling he will REALLY like it if I play some Black Sabbath. True to my intuition, he’s fucking stoked.

When we’re finished, he’s sitting on the floor (he’s buzzed drunk by now) and he says, “you even have pretty feet. If I come back here again, it will definitely be to see you. ”

 

“And good choice on the Black Sabbath.”

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One Response to “Boffs of the Week”

  1. Neo Anderson August 19, 2011 at 3:56 pm #

    Well Bambi. I though you fell off of this planet. It’s good to see ur still kickin it just up the highway and around the corner from me.After reading ur latest Blog I can relate to #1. Mr “I wanna be perfect for this girl as I was In your area about a month ago at the Bunny Ranch with a fricken hot looking blonde & her friend.Very interesting experience except I didn’t get to the finish line as after being married for 27 plus years to the late wife, I guess I felt a little uncomfortable about being with someone else, even though I thought I was ready for it after being widowed for 3 years.I can relate to #3 Mr. scientist as I love science & could talk about it easily for days.I would still entertain seeing you as All the pieces of the puzzle have cum together for me if you would only point me in the right direction. You have my real e-mail address If thats something you would like from me, I guarantee you won’t regret it. The Heavy – How Do You Like Me Now(It’s A Song)You Tube It.

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