Negotiation Song

17 Oct

A couple nights ago in the parlor, I decided to break out my guitar. It was slow and the girls like to hear me sing. I got all of four dollars in tips.

There’s this new girl here named Paris. She needs to be on SNL because she’s so damn funny. She sings a little bit too.

She found this cute musician guy she thought we should do a two girl party with.

I’m still playing the guitar.

She says, “oh Bambi, just bring it with you!”

so I wear my guitar into the negotation room.

I proceed to tell him how the process works.

Paris interjects.

We’re singing the whole thing.

The client, who is also a musician, sings back.

“I only have this much to pay”

“But you could use credit cards!” we sing

“Put a couple hundred on the card?” we ask

“I can probably doooo that” he replies.

Agreement made!

Mission Accomplished.

Next move? The Dick check.

No Dick check would be complete without musical accompanyment.

I play a nice boom-chick boom chick kinda song in the key of C.

It’s like we’re in our own goddamn musical.

“So what we’re checking for is STDs! Herpes! Warts! Open wounds! Things that move!”

once he passes, Paris says

“its clean!”

“Its CLEAN!

IT’S CLEAN!”

We all sing.

Then? Off to have the funnest threesome ever.

 

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