Aside

The End of an Era

20 Oct

You know how you have that feeling that one day things will change, and you ask yourself how it would go in your head when that day finally comes? 

Kind of the feeing that you know somebody is dying, and is going to die? 

I always had that feeling over my home brothel. 

A few days ago, I finally got that call…..

From my only friend still working there…

she tells me the place is to be sold and I have all of my possessions to pick up still. 

I thought, “well, I could make a power drive and go pick up my things in the near future.” 

And she tells me that the big owner mogule guy who has that TV show is snapping it up and will be turning it into a freak show, which makes her want to vomit in her mouth. 

She tells me that I shouldn’t wait to pick up my things, that the new owners take over on Monday. 

I stay up late. 

Thinking. 

I stay up late because some part of me is so, so sad. 

I think about lots of things. 

How much of who I am is tied to there. 

How when I get a longing for something…I think of going home, and that ranch is the place I call home. 

Maybe home is not where your stuff is. 

Maybe home is where you define yourself, and find yourself – and thats why my subconscious slips up and calls it that, even though I am currently living in the city that I was born in and grew up in, and will probably die in. 

Thing is – I can stay in touch with the people who I want to stay in touch with. 

I don’t need to drive all the way over there to say goodbye. 

There will be at least ten people I might wonder about – how they are, where they have been, how they are doing. But the five that matter – we are all friends on facebook and I am quite certain we will never lose touch. 

I cried a lot actually – because I was sad that financially I don’t have the money to drive up and say goodbye to a broken down building that holds many memories – the building is like an old friend. 

 

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