You were wondering where I went.

20 Mar

I’m sure some of you have wondered where I went.

Judging by the hits this blog still gets – it seems like a lot of you wondered.

Thousands of you, even.

So – what’s become of me?

Well – over two years has passed since I last wrote in the blog.
Things change.
Brothels aren’t what they used to be.
Fewer and fewer men are frequenting brothels in Nevada, while more and more men are getting their kicks in other ways.

Web cam girls.

Websites like “SugarDaddyForMe.com”

AshleyMadison.com

Seekingarrangement.com

There’s two years of adventure that I’ll not say a word of – that would be another memoir unto itself.

I’ve lived in different places.

I’ve traveled.

I’ve been in and out of love.

During my last months in Nevada – I bought a dog. I had a small fluffy puppy shipped to me. I thought, “I’m going to be lonely the next few years.”

I bought the dog because I had planned to be alone.
I spent all day (days, actually) searching the internet – websites that had shelter dogs – rescue dogs. I really did put my efforts towards finding a homeless dog in need of a forever home.

Then I saw this little fluffball on the internet and I melted. This dog’s face. The fluff. I actually convinced the madam to let me go on an outdate with a client – TO THE AIRPORT – and I actually got paid to pick up the dog.

After that – things got dark for a while – mentally – emotionally.

That little tiny dog was the only thing that kept me to this planet.
Who else was going to take care of her, feed her, take her places?
I took that dog everywhere.

Bars – coffee shops. Home depot. People swarmed and coo’d and freaked out at the sight of my dog. My dog became the champion of road trips and became accustomed to the ten hour brothel drive.

She would sit in my lap and curl up and fall asleep and wouldn’t complain or make a peep.

I still have that dog. She’s still the best thing ever.
There’s a lot of friends I sort of lost touch with I think – working in the industry.
My friends are now in two classes of people: Those who know what I used to do – and those who have no idea.

The nice car I bought while working?
I couldn’t afford payments on it. They hunted me down and repo’d the car.
It was ok – I knew the moment was coming. I had a bunch of empty bags in my car as luck would have it – and two of my friends helped me empty the car just in time for the reapers to take it away.

I did some bartending for a while.

I worked at a school for a while.

I did tutoring for a while.

I battled depression for a longer while.

I moved to a different city.

I moved home.

I got off anti-depressants.

I found a cool boss who taught me a lot and taught me how to manage my money better.
I had a lot of money saved in the bank.
I lost my job with the cool boss.
My savings dwindled down.
I moved back home for a while.

My savings built back up.

I moved out of home.
I realized how much I still like my home town.
Now I’m home a lot – away a lot – life is a little chaotic – and I’m working on starting a new business that is unique and combines my skills – that I can be proud of.

As of a few months ago I finally stopped taking all the pills that I started taking when I was working in brothels. I took pills to help me stay away and they became a bit of a crutch. When I ran out of money I thought “well fuck it – guess I’m not going to renew that prescription” – and got off my last prescription – along with all of the horrible withdrawal symptoms that come with it.

One thing that I can’t wrap my head around is that EVERY EX I’VE HAD IN THE HISTORY OF EVER has attempted to re-enter my life.

Including the really emotionally abusive POS who I loaned money when he was going through a tough time. It was funny – I thought “well – I am really broke, and he could pay me back – but that would involve having to talk to him.”

I opted to have him stay out of my life – and never to have that money re-paid.

My ex from when I was 18 came back.
My ex from four years ago came back.
My on again – off again fling came back.
People I told myself would never talk to me again – they all came back.
Leaving me shaking my head.
Leaving me saying “I guess the past really doesn’t matter.”

The future though – the future looks pretty bright.

I

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