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Talking about hooking with mom. Our breakfast chat.

16 Nov

Cue me and mom, sitting at the kitchen table.

I tell her about the video.
How I’m having creative differences….
Which will be resolved…….
Nevermind that I’m going to vomit from the stress.
Nevermind that I cried for an hour last nite about how my life is ruined….

Yes….when you are a hooker, you cry because of stress.
Either because of the fucked up shit that goes on at work
or because of the money you don’t have because you had to get away from work.
The mere fear of having to be a ho for the better part of one’s life…
is enough to make any regular girl like me cry.

And Yes,
I cried about it AGAIN, last night.
Imagine me,
My beautiful bodacious 34D self…
a sniveling mess.

If you want a mental picture of my mom…she is Blonde, cute, sweet…sunshiney.
I am her dark and sultry daughter but BB’s mom is ALL SUNSHINE.
After all…when she did her own business, her nickname for herself when she pretended to be her own secretary on the phone was (Shit you not) Barbara Baker.

So when my mom gets here in the morning
I talk to her about….stuff. With the video. With kickstarter.
About how stuff is not right…..
and what does she say.
She says, “Well maybe if the video is not turning out how it is supposed to….maybe its a sign that you should walk away from it and focus on your art career.
Because the more people that know, the more you risk getting found out…and do you really want people to find out?”

I tell her,
what exactly have I LOST by having this job?
I’ve lost opportunities to date men…
Men who probably weren’t that into me anyway…..

I lost my Ex, who was not too bright….
The friends I lost were all flakey to begin with…
The friends I’ve MADE – sure I can count them on one hand, the good ones – but they are better than the friends I made before I had this job.
All the people who were cool before are still my friend now. , and guess what, they don’t care.”

“I’m just saying one day it could come to bite you in the ass and, maybe you don’t want that.” She says.

I say,
“We live in America Mom.
Nobody cares about Bill Clinton and Cigars,
We still love Tiger Woods,
nobody cares that Vanessa Williams showed her tits once.
Nobody gives a shit that Demi Lovato is in Rehab and if she’s a DISNEY STAR, then I don’t think anybody will give a rat’s ass about me.”

“Charlie Sheen just blew a shitload of money on blow and a hooker, who theoretically is “not” a hooker, because she did internet porn.” I say.

Then mom chimes in!
About how I’M RIGHT!
“Well yea it took 15 years but they talk about Bill Clinton and what an amazing president he was and the fact that he was impeached for the Monica thing never comes up. They only care what a great president he was.”

“See!” I say.
“There’s hope for me then. No one will care.”

I tell her,
“Diablo Cody was a stripper. Do you think anybody cares? Everybody knows that strippers do more than that.”

“Diablo who?”

“That woman who won the award for writing that movie ‘Juno’ – the one about Teenage Pregnancy.”

“Oh right that was a good movie.” says mom.
“Yeah she used to be a stripper.”
“She got other opportunities. Better opportunities came along.”

YEA. My mom. The coolest on the fucking planet.
My mom also revealed that once,
she cried about how scared she was of my brother, to keep him in jail for longer, so he would get clean off drugs.
Not the brother who told me about this job.
The other one.
Don’t worry, I have lots of brothers and sisters, you will never figure out my family tree.
He’s not really that related to me.
Thank god.


So You Wanna Webcam Model? Some thoughts on the matter…

15 Oct

So…you want to make some extra money by being a web cam model?
I received an email requesting a how-to from a guy friend of mine.

I really have no idea of the competition that exists out there in the guy field.
But I can tell you that the reason I found out so much about it was because a guy came into my work
and he was super informative in telling me about how he and his ex girlfriend used to web cam.

He said they would make money literally with the two of them just sitting there.
(Yes of course they fucked each other too….and got paid for that. )
He said that the real way to do things was to go into yahoo chat rooms, tell people about your show, schedule the show,
have people pay you via paypal so you get to keep the money and then schedule a show for a certain time every week.
The more people you get to watch your show, the more money you make.

There ARE however, agencies which can cater to you by plugging you in to multiple official web cam sites at once.
I haven’t really found these so-called web-cam agencies yet….

The two websites I looked into so far is one called, and another called .

I like the way IMlive is set up because you can browse and chat with anybody for free at first before you pay any money.
ImLive has a section for guys and a section for couples.
It seems like if you are a guy, you would have better luck telling people you are gay.
Meaning, if you apply in the gay guy web cammer section, you will get more biz, because I’m not really sure how many straight chicks are watching guys beat off on web cams.

What you need to get into it:
In addition to a web cam that can follow you and has a good lens (that’s what the guy at work recommended.)
You also need to scan your ID, front and back.
you also need to take photos of yourself holding your ID ,
and a photo of yourself holding a piece of paper with the current date written on it.
Once you do all of this stuff and upload the necessary photos to the cam websites,
they email you with your status of whether or not you get approved.

When you sign up you can also check off entire states and “BAN” them,
which means if you have relatives in that state that you think might be using web cam services,
you can avoid the embarrassment of them discovering you to be a cam guy or girl.

You can also “Hit Record” on a lot of these sites so people can play recorded footage of you any time you want.
However, I would advise against this as models like Michelle Bombshell i(the mistress of Sandra Bullocks Husband.) seems to be victim to something I wouldn’t be digging: Once she got “famous” raised her recorded footage from the dead so now people can see footage of her doing…..whatever she did…because she opted to do recorded footage.

She probably doesn’t care…
but for those of us who get into the side of the biz to retain our anonymity..well…I cringed at the thought.

Other suggestions include:
Cool costumes.
Slutty clothing
fishnet anything
backgrounds for your web camming – i.e. go with a theme. Make it colorful. Like a movie set.
Music playing in the background: Unless you want to go “ooh, ahh, yes!” and make moaning noises…music can help you avoid this.
Except….some don’t mind if there is no sound.

Wish I had more info. I’ll update this as I learn more.

Compare & Contrast – Ho’s vs. Prisoners

24 Sep

One of my girlfriends said to me earlier today,
“Wanna help me break out? I have a spoon.
I’m digging a hole by the fence out back. It should be big enough for both of us to crawl through in a couple years. Are you in?”

That was Ivy who said that. She has been here for probably two months straight with only two days off. While I commend her ability to stick with this whole “working your ass off” thing – I would go insane without going home every two weeks.

I’m about at that two week breaking point.
The things that we do when we start to lose our minds a little, has to be similar to prisoners.

The thing I want most, just like any other jailbird would want?
A god-damn pen pal.
I like having pen pals.
I now understand why people stuck in our prisons post ads on craigslist asking for people to write them. Those letters you get break up the monotony of the day and the world.

The longer I get here, the more the nature of communication with the outside world changes.

I used to loathe drunk text messages.
Now I appreciate them – they remind me of whats still out there.
I just got three text messages and one voice mail in the last hour, and all I can think is “thank goodness for my weird collection of friends spread across the country!”

You learn to rely on the cumulative efforts of many people,
rather than being somebody’s one and only.

What is a girl to do?

I talk to mexicans all day long.
When I’m not talking to mexicans, I’m talking to women who are threatening me with their bisexuality. Desperate for companionship, I begin to understand why prisoners “go gay.”

We’re not so different.
If you think you understand loneliness…
I will tell you: You have no idea.

To ward off the quiet, a lot of girls buy pets. .
Bree has a new pet kitty. I called her “Sprite” and the name stuck. To entertain herself….Bree blows bubbles at Sprite and watches while Sprite tries to catch the bubbles. Bree enjoys watching her cat play with bubbles a little too much. Sprite is interesting. She will jump on your shoulder and perch there like a parrot. Pretty good for a 10 week old kitten.

Asia has a pet chihuahua named Max.
Max is a charismatic fellow and he’s only a year old, but Asia says he favors blondes and white girls. He also favors humping any and all of his stuffed toys. The little lipstick comes out to play, he humps like a mad man, finishes practicing, then makes like nothing happened. All the girls coo and watch when he humps like they are proudly waiting for the day he humps a girl Chihuahua. Doggie porn, yea! GO MAX.

She said Max was angry I did not say hello to him upon his return.

I carried him around for a good 20 minutes today like a little baby while we were giving tours of the house. He’s a cutie pie.

Karley has her giant Maine Coon named Louie. I enjoy Louie myself. He is a very sweet giant cat. Reminds me of my cat back home. Louie likes to roam about the halls. It was a good nite a couple weeks ago when Louie slept beside me in the jacuzzi room while I took a nap. He soothed me in my moment of missing home.
She now has to begin all of her party tours with “Are you allergic to cats?” Today a woman said “Yes” and they Karley looked at me with the “What do I DO?!?” face. I said, “Go to Asia’s room?”

Crisis averted.

I can’t afford a pet here though.
Pets aren’t very intellectual.
I just like having pen pals.

Maybe I’ll suck it up and write a fellow inmate.
God help me.

Love in Different Forms – Ho vs. Ho

28 Aug

You may be wondering how I could have made a post about being all hung up on Mr. WRONG, and then less than 48 hours later, start up a post about my co-worker.

The answer is simple: I’m a ho. I fall in and out of love easily.
Furthermore, there’s more than one kinda love.
However, one you won’t encounter outside of here is:
Ho vs. Ho love: the love of one working girl for another.

My #1: Katrina. Katrina was my big sister, who educated me during Whorientation. She has incredible ho-tivation. (Motivation.) I’ve known her over a year now and she is the person who has stayed here when everyone else has come and gone, and without her here, life would be miserable.

It’s only been in the last day or two that I’ve realized my love for Katrina. I woke up to my morning (7pm) to dinner being put away, and the staff said “Katrina made a plate for you so you would have some to eat.” There it was, “BB’s food, do not touch!” with my name emblazoned with a sharpie on the tinfoil, and little hearts all around.

Last night I let her borrow one of my outfits (her request of me) for the first time. It’s shiny and red and makes her look like a stripper. I LOVE her in it. She loved it so much she wore it a 2nd day in a row.

She’s been teaching me how to pole dance and when she dances, she knows I like to watch her.
She winks and licks her lips in my direction.

When I walk by, she slaps my booty with wreckless glee.

She constantly brings up the day she will turn me gay, and get me naked.

I’m her most recent bed buddy. She falls asleep quicker when I’m in her bed and keep her feet warm. Our primary goal for sharing a bed is shaking the other awake when customers come in late at night.
And lately, I’ve been thinking about it.

Especially after last night.
I’d never given a lap dance before in my life and she came up with the brilliant idea that I could watch her do a lap dance (on a guy) and then try some moves myself. Amazingly she convinced this fellow to pay for the both of us.

Watching her is one of my joys of this job, as she is an amazing dancer. Never would I have guessed I’d get turned on watching her dance, but like I said, it got me thinking.

Hardly an hour or two goes by where we don’t share a laugh, a hug, or a kiss on the cheek.
When I discovered it was her that made the dinner plate for me, I hugged her and said,  “you’re the best!” and she said “I love you too.”

What a gal.

BrothelBabe asks, what are you saving for?

22 Aug

I am Brothel Babe. I work at a legal brothel in the state of Nevada.

Here I am, saving up for my ever important existence.
Make it Rain!

One girl down the hall from me has been working here for four years. She is paying for her mortgage.

Another girl is saving for 100k a year tuition at a prestigious arts school.

A lady is saving to put herself into law school. She already has a business degree.

Two of the hardest working women here are saving up to go on a trip to Jamaica.

My one year anniversary for working in this industry just passed, and this week I established 3 financial rules for myself:

1. I can’t get social time til I make at least 1500 dollars

2. I can’t go back to my home town (to see my family) until I make 5000 dollars.

3. I can’t sleep with a guy on “the outside” until I make 10 grand.

You’ll learn why I set up these rules later.  Seeing that this is the 2nd great depression, falling in love is a mistake I can’t afford to have right now. And the way to my heart is through my vagina.  I think for the rest of the female world its through a man’s wallet. Not for me though.


21 Aug

Brothel Babe is a very real, very attractive young 20-something girl, who is living and working in a legal brothel in the state of Nevada. There are roughly 15ish brothels in the state of Nevada…5-7 of which the ladies find “worth working at”. Brothel Babe frequents one or two of them.

These blog posts are humorous and true accounts of her experiences living inside a brothel.

The blog has a weekly format that it adheres to Monday thru Thursday:

You will also find more spur of the moment posts that talk about the “drama” that revolves around everyone who lives and works here, which goes into some of the following categories:

In addition to the wide cast of legal prostitutes here, we also have a dynamic staff:

-The loyal security guard
-Cashiers, who are like our confidantes
-One crazy boss-man
-The Maintenance guy
-The Cleaning lady
-A chihuahua we share
-Owners who are never present, but are always on the phone

Together, we make up one crazy, weird kind of family.

First and foremost – this is a humorous account of life inside a brothel!

We are living in the 2nd great depression. If you are going to work in a brothel,
and deal with peoples weenies all the time, you have to be able to laugh.

I laugh here constantly.

You learn about relationships, unique friendships, and how to deal with every taboo imaginable.

Hopefully, you’ll have as much fun reading it as I have writing it.

Brothel Babe